So a married, monogamous couple who didn’t need transfusions or use drugs might get tested before they married and not worry about it after. On the other end of the spectrum are high-risk people who need regular testing, usually every three months, sometimes more often.”“So I could have an STD and not know it?” Summer asked.“Yes. If you haven’t been tested, your risk is basically defined by everyone you had sex with, everyone they had sex with, and so on. Being a technical virgin doesn’t help if you had an exchange of bodily fluids. I’ll give you an example - my friend Doctor Bethany Krajick has a documented case of a fifteen-year-old being pregnant but not having had actual intercourse. She and her boyfriend were fooling around, kind of halfway between third and home, if you will. He ejaculated outside her vagina, but, in the words of Doctor Ruth Westheimer, one of the sperm was a ‘qvick vun’ and the next thing you know is a virgin birth.”“She lied!” Brooke protested.I shook my. “So where have you had pain?”“Actually it’s just a worsening of the lower back pain. I think maybe I damaged something recently. I may have overdone it a bit,” I admitted.Then he submitted me to a little Q&A about what I had been trying to do. After I explained my routine the two days before my terrible pain began, he made a noise before he explained.“Mr Selfridge it would appear your cowboy days are over. You got yourself blown up, you were in a coma, you had broken bones which healed only because you were in a coma, and unable to be a PAP patient,” he said.“What is a PAP?” I asked.“Pain in the ass patient,” he replied seriously. “I have listened to your explanation of your drug regimen. I am going to write you a scrip for a ninety day supply of Tramadol, but it is not going to be renewed until you come back,” he said. “I am also making a PAP note in your file. Just to explain the unorthodox treatment. Now go home stay on the ice packs, and take a minimal amount of drugs. You can.
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